Jokes for Teachers (I Won’t Judge You for LOLing)
The longer I work around educators, the more teacher or education related jokes I hear.
Awhile ago, I started jotting them all down.
This list is what I've come across in the past month or so...
They're silly, they're fun, and they're safe to use around students.
- When a teacher asked the six year old student why his handwriting wasn’t as neat as usual, he responded, “I’m trying a new font.”
- The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from eating too much pi.
- How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of Caesars.
- I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
- Albert Einstein's Mother: But it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?
- A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
- There are 10 kinds of mathematicians. Those who can think binarily and those who can't.
- A neutron walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a drink?" The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."
- No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
- A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
- Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
- Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
- Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
- Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
- There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
- A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
- Pi to i: "Get real!" i to Pi : "Get rational!"
- Physics quote of the day: Anything that doesn't matter has no mass.
- Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights.
What can you add to this list? Leave me your favorite joke in a comment on this post.